Selflessness – Shoushi’s Aram Manoukian Summer Camp
Selflessness – Shoushi’s Aram Manoukian Summer Camp –
By Tamar Kabassakalian-Gosdanian –
What is to be selfless and what acts manifest selflessness?
Peace heroes, war heroes, superheroes or real life heroes have one thing in common: they can put their personal needs aside and sacrifice their well-being for the betterment of others. Heroes have existed throughout history and continue to exist. Some present themselves in the form of political, spiritual or scientific leaders, others as everyday civilians who rise above the waves of multitudes and teach us that achieving greatness is within the reach of every individual. One hero-leader may be viewed as a villain to the other, yet it does not undermine the essence of being a hero, for being admired by accomplishing an act of selflessness that involves great courage.
Today, in history we have many heroes who fight for a cause while in positions of influence or power. Queen Rania Al Abdulla of Jordan, who is known for her philanthropic endeavors, owns a humanitarian NGO that helps the disadvantaged in Jordan. She is also involved in many worldwide missions such as vaccinations, cancer research, healthy family life and education. Bono, the head singer of U2, has used his fame to rally people to fight against hunger and poverty through his humanitarian fund. Nelson Mandela has captivated the hearts and spirits of people around the world who undergo discrimination and has given them hope. His aim was to put an end to apartheid in South Africa, yet he is hailed by the world community for his acts of selflessness. Others, like Che Guevera, have started revolutions by putting their lives in danger to save their people from dominations or rulers who did not heed to the voice of the people. Despite being assassinated, Che maintains his hero status in South America to this day. In all, many heroes have changed the course of history or have left their prints in the tapestry of time for others to follow and understand the human potential to reach greatness through self- sacrifice.
We feel closer to people who support and help in ways that not everyone can or not everyone would. Self-sacrifice is very valuable, and it is a rare trait. Nearly all parents do some sort of self-sacrifice on a daily basis for their children. Doctors and teachers regularly perform heroic acts. Firefighters and cops live moments of heroism in the line of duty. Journalists live to become heroes as they report from warzones and perish in the process of informing the world of injustices that riddle various countries of the world. Thus, heroic acts are performed every day.
Dalai Lama once said, “The true hero is one who conquers his own anger and hatred.” True. But this remains on a personal level. When a person conquers his own anger and hatred, no one else will be impacted by it except the self in its pursuit of a more peaceful life and serene existence. Therefore, there are different levels and types of heroism. On a more personal level there are the ones who have led very difficult lives and have conquered their own struggles, who despite constant pain, retain the courage to face the day without a complaint and defeat their fears with a smile. Those are heroes, too.
So what is it that makes someone a hero? What conditions must one fulfill to become one? Must the person die? Must he save lives? Must she perform an act of kindness or bravery towards others? In all cases, two distinct words come to mind: sacrifice and selflessness. Ultimately, those who are brave enough to put their needs last engage in the process of becoming a hero. Such people are hard to find.
When asked “who do you admire?” or “who is your hero?” many answer “my parents.” But apart from your parents, do you personally know any heroes? Have you had the opportunity to meet one or to live among them?
I can say that I have met a few heroes and even some that I see on a regular basis. Lara Aharonian is one of them. Seeing the struggles and the atrocities that some women go through in Armenia, Lara, a mother of four, opened a women’s resource center (WRCA) about 10 years ago. Her life is very often in danger because as an activist and human rights defender, she protects battered women. She has many enemies because when she advocates women’s rights and healthy family lifestyle, it is misperceived. At times she is even threatened. But none of this has ever stopped her from pursuing what she believes in, by advocating gender equality and sexual rights, by protecting victims of domestic violence, by going in and out of court rooms to put the guilty behind bars and by going into the villages with lawyers and other specialists to dig up dead female bodies to do more forensics in order to find out the real cause of death. Recently, the International Community of Armenia awarded her as the Most Courageous Woman of the Year. Needless to say, a well-deserved award!
Heroism may also be linked to empathy. In our everyday lives, few demonstrate empathy by showing support. Friendship is one thing, empathy is another. Over the past decade, with the excessive use of technology, our lives have become very individualistic, not leaving much room for selflessness. Added to this, our lives have become so busy that some people tend to lead an “individualistic” existence: a life that is self-absorbed by greed or materialistic endeavors. The “community” life has lost its charm and the energy has shifted towards individualism. In this manner, most of us have lost touch with the real meaning of life and what matters most. This is also why witnessing empathy is rare. Giving sympathy is still common, but it differs from empathy. Empathy goes deeper in a way that recognizes and shares another person’s state. Daniel Goleman, a renowned psychologist who has done extensive research on emotional intelligence, claims that there are three types of empathy: cognitive empathy, emotional empathy and compassionate empathy. Within any of these three categories of empathy, one is able to reach out and has the ability to support a colleague, a friend, a stranger or a group of people. Not everyone can or would.
The Chamlian family has shown compassionate empathy and is the hero to over 400 children and their families living in Shoushi, Artsakh. For a decade, Aida, and Haytoug, with their children Dessyl (21) and Badrouyk (15) have come to their motherland and have founded a summer day camp in Shoushi. All four are Armenians, born and raised in the diaspora, but with very strong ties toward their homeland and culture. For 10 years, they have built a bridge between Armenia and Canada by giving to the children of Shoushi attention, hope, love and care.
Many Armenians from the diaspora provide financial support to their homeland. That is also a form of sacrifice. But this type of donation goes beyond borders. Haytoug, a successful lawyer with his wife Ayda, a scientist, have decided to help in a different way. When they visited Shoushi in 2004, they wanted to do something special in helping and contributing to its growth. Shoushi is a breathtaking part of Nagarno-Karapagh that got liberated in 1992. Nagarno-Karapagh borders Azerbajian and is in constant danger and threat. The Armenians living in the region have pride in their homeland and live in modest conditions.
For this, and many other reasons, the Chamlian family fell in love with Shoushi. Therefore, somehow, sending donations did not seem enough for Haytoug and Aida. They could easily send money every year and go on vacation elsewhere, visit different countries, stay in luxurious hotels by the beach or travel to exotic places. Instead, they wanted to donate themselves to Shoushi and its population.
Every summer since 2004, for about a month, Haytoug leaves his law firm, Aida puts aside her neuroscience research, their children separate from their friends and leave their fun-filled “North American” style summer to venture out into their favorite place and share their love. They each become an “Artsakhtsi” (a local) and experience the day-to-day difficulties of the people. They create lifelong friendships and memories along with educating the young. They come to Armenia with about 12 suitcases, a summer camp program, huge smiles on their faces and a purpose in mind: to make this year even more memorable for the children of Shoushi.
But that is not all! They do much more than this! Aida has organized an entire summer day camp program that has a variety of activities. It ranges from sessions on culture to arts and from sports to films. The children come to the day camp from 10 am to 5pm and go home with huge smiles and laughter. Throughout their day, they learn about the Armenian culture, embellish their artistic talents through projects and talent shows, watch documentaries, and play board games and outdoor games. A wholesome lunch is provided for them. They also have a breakfast and an afternoon snack. Haytoug makes sure that the Aram Manougian Day Camp supports as many local businesses as possible. Therefore, when shopping for materials and food, he shops around not only to buy local but also from different vendors; this way he gives business to many. He even places some orders to local housewives who do not have any other income. In all, he really makes an effort to help everyone with the aim to satisfy the children.
Moreover, Haytoug and Aida hire local camp counselors, cooks and cleaning staff. These locals not only get salaries, but they also gain experience. Experience to work with each other, organize activities and take care of children of different age groups.
Haytoug, Aida, Dessil and Badrouyk bring a difference in Shoushi – a fundamental difference in the people’s lives, one that is immeasurable and incomparable. Their devotion is limitless and humble in many ways. As soon as they arrive in Yerevan, they count the hours to get to Shoushi, a 6-hour long, difficult but awe-inspiring road from Yerevan. Once in Shoushi, they settle at the Naregatsi Institute where the day camp is held. They could very easily stay in a hotel and be more confortable. But their goal is to break down the barriers and be part of the community they bring together.
I have been lucky enough to visit the Aram Manougian summer day camp on a few occasions. Unsurprisingly, with all that the children learn and do, they are very pleased that they have the opportunity to be part of this wonderful camp. They all wait eagerly for the school year to end to see the Chamlian family. At every opening, there is naturally a huge line-up for registration. Every child wants to take part. However, due to space restrictions, some are rejected. This is evidently one of the most difficult tasks that Haytoug and Aida must go through, they state.
I have also witnessed the closure of the camp where all the children are heartbroken and must say their goodbyes. Haytoug tries to console them by saying “only 10 months left!”
“…there is power in self-sacrifice.” (Veronica Roth, Divergent). There sure is! When one sacrifices for others, he becomes a better person, a greater person – a hero with empathy as an armor and self sacrifice as a shield.
When visiting Armenia during the summer, make sure to visit Shoushi and the Aram Manougian Day Camp. Feel free to browse their website:
http://www.shoushisummercamp.org to find out their dates and other additional information.