Turkish PM Davutolgu’s offer of a “New Beginning with Armenia” translated (satirically) into the truth –

Turkish PM Davutolgu’s offer of a “New Beginning with Armenia” translated (satirically) into the truth – 

By Aram Hamparian


Charlie Hebdo caricature – Recep Tayyip Erdoğan to Turkish police: ‘You can shoot. Just imagine that they are Armenians!”

Cartoon penned by Tignous during the Gezi Park protests in Turkey.


Ahmet Davutoglu (Turkish PM): OK. Armenians. Do I have your attention? There’s something I’d like to discuss about our common past. You know, our shared history.

 To start, I did, in fact, kill half your family. Tortured some. Raped others.

 Sure. I burned down your house.

 It’s true. I stole all you owned and drove you into the street.

 No argument from me here. I grew wealthy through my theft. And I got powerful through your suffering, even as you’ve struggled just to survive.

 Yes. I’ve lied about my crime. Told people it was your fault. Demonized you… the victim.

 I’ve buried evidence to hide my guilt.

 I’ve bribed the cops to stay away.

 I’ve bullied the neighbors into silence.

 And it’s all worked rather well. You could say I committed the perfect crime.


 There’s one thing though that’s still bothering me, and that’s you.

 You, and your complaining and your endless claims.

You won’t calm down, shut up, or give in.

 But we can fix this. I’m sure about that, which is why I’d like to propose a “new beginning.” A fresh start, if you will, to Turkish-Armenian ties.

 Now. Let’s be clear about this. I won’t be giving up anything I stole. Won’t compensate you for your losses. Won’t even apologize for my murders.

 But I will need you to stop making accusations against me. To drop your claims. To openly accept the status quo, and willingly leave me in peace to finish consolidating the gains of my genocidal crime. And then, see, we can be friends.

 Just like old times.


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